Game day with Brandon Grahams wife, Carlyne: Its an anxiety that I cant explain

Publish date: 2024-04-21

About 80 minutes after the Eagles’ Week 17 loss to the New Orleans Saints, Brandon Graham is back on the field and the fans in the front row are booing.

Four young kids, including Graham’s 6-year-old daughter, Emerson, and 3-year-old son, Bryson, have been hoisted up onto seats from the sideline and are playing their roles to perfection.

“That’s what Eagles fans do!” yells one of the 23 people who watched the game from Graham’s suite at Lincoln Financial Field and has made their way down to where the action was.

Everyone laughs, including Graham’s wife, Carlyne, the game day host and shepherd for this motley collection of friends, family and acquaintances. She knows from experience. For the last 13 years, she’s had the best view in the house.

Brandon and Carlyne were a few years apart at the same high school in their native Detroit. They “reconnected” during Graham’s senior season at Michigan and have been together ever since, marrying in 2014 after Graham’s fourth season with the Eagles. Now in his 13th season, Graham is something of an anomaly among his teammates. Spend more than five minutes in the team’s locker room and you’re likely to see or hear two things: Graham’s boisterous cackle and him FaceTiming his wife. He is the team’s foremost “wife guy.”

“Oh, yeah,” Graham says. “We used to laugh because people used to be hating because of that sometimes. ‘Why you always on (the phone)?’ But really, they wish they had it. So I always try to make sure I enjoy that. … Every second that I get to be part of their day, it’s the best. Calling baby girl, calling baby boy, it’s cool because they give me the energy that I need and then I can top it off with (Carlyne’s) little love at the end. That’s how it’s been working for us.”

On this game day, the task at hand is a 1 p.m. affair against the visiting Saints. It’s a big game for the Eagles, who can clinch the No. 1 seed in the NFC with a win. It’s also a spotlight game for Graham, who has a chance to make some personal history. Despite ranking fourth in franchise history with 68 sacks, he has never reached double digits in a single season. With nine through 15 games, he’s one sack away from his longtime goal. He leaves the house a little after 9 a.m., after putting breakfast in the oven for the kids.

Three hours later, with The Athletic tagging along for the afternoon, Carlyne and the kids have begun to make their way to the field for a pregame visit with Brandon. They stop to pose for a photo with a man in a full Mummers outfit. It is New Year’s Day in Philadelphia, after all.

Making their way onto the field, the kids hold Carlyne’s hands as she ushers them to the southwest corner, where they push to the front of the crowd. Whether it’s the obvious likeness both kids share with dad or their matching No. 55 jerseys, everyone around can tell these are the Grahams’ kids. Wide receiver Zach Pascal comes over in full uniform and tosses a ball to Bryson and Emerson before Dad makes his way over to pose for a few photos with the family. As they watch the defensive line warm up, Carlyne chats with the wife of outside linebackers coach Jeremiah Washburn. After the team breaks its huddle and heads to the locker room, the Grahams expertly maneuver into position for one more pregame rendezvous.

Brandon Graham with his wife, Carlyne, and kids Emerson and Bryson. (Bo Wulf / The Athletic)

On their way back to their seats, they pass through a tunnel adorned with pictures of events at the stadium. “There’s Daddy!” exclaims Bryson, correctly identifying a picture of Graham running onto the field. “Beyoncé!” Emerson shouts a moment later. “I wanna go to a concert!”

“Maybe one day,” says Mom.

The deftness with which the family then navigates its way to the suite is impressive. Up two sets of escalators, through an indoor stretch of the club level, outdoors and over to an elevator that brings them to their suite floor, where the kids glide to the room like magnets. Located behind the south end zone, the entrance to the Graham family suite is adorned by a vertical poster of Chuck Bednarik, the only player in franchise history who has played more seasons (14) for the team than Graham. For now.

Inside the suite are two rows of six stadium seats, a back row with elevated chairs and a lounge area. There’s a spread of pizza, sandwiches, cheesesteak spring rolls, salad and more, plus a fridge stocked with soda, water and juice. Slowly, the room fills with people. This day, that includes Carlyne’s friend from high school and her family, cousins, Graham’s godmother, the family babysitter and her mother, Graham’s former Eagles teammate Bennie Logan and someone who helped Carlyne with her purchase of Graham’s Christmas gift, a fancy watch. As if we weren’t already aware time is ticking on his career.

Every home game, the makeup of the room changes. The only constant is Carlyne, who leaves the kids behind if it’s a night game.

Shortly before kickoff, she stands up from her seat in the front row to address the room.

“I only have one rule,” she says. “Stay in your seats! I’m very superstitious. If things start going downhill, get back in your assigned seats!”

“I’m just joking,” she says softly as she walks by to get a drink. But probably not, right?

Graham runs out of the tunnel to applause and hoots and hollers from his suite when the defensive starters are announced during pregame introductions. Technically, he’s a rotational player, not a starter, which means he’s not on the field right away when the Eagles defense begins the game. Soon, No. 55 enters with the eyes of everyone in this sliver of the stadium on him.

Ten plays into the opening drive, the game’s momentum stops abruptly. Someone is injured.

“Who is it?”

The Grahams are very intentional about preparing for life after football. “The transition” is what Carlyne calls it. She’s talked with friends and wives of former players over the years who have countless stories about the difficulty players face when adjusting to post-football life. It’s part of the reason Graham tries hard to be a present and involved father during the season, doing things like taking the kids to swimming classes on his off days.

“He chooses to be part of the day to day so it’s not foreign to him when it’s time for him to be part of the day to day,” Carlyne says.

It’s possible this will be it. One year removed from a torn Achilles in the second game of the season, Graham is having one of his most productive seasons ever. At 34, he has a rightful case to be the league’s Comeback Player of the Year. He’s also the team’s nominee for the Walter Payton Man of the Year award. But his contract is, for all intents and purposes, up after the season. He’s mentioned wanting to play 15 seasons in the past, but the body and the heart do not always agree. Whenever the end comes, it will be his decision.

GO DEEPER

Why 'good juju' has Eagles' Brandon Graham still thriving in Year 13

“It’s such a short career window for them, let him make the choice,” Carlyne says, relaying the advice she once received from a close friend. “Because if you make the choice for him, then there will be some resentment. You knew going in that this is what you were supporting him for and you’ve benefited off of it extremely. So I’m just going with the flow with him. I’m gonna support whatever he chooses to do. He supports me so I’m gonna support him. I don’t want him to stop until he’s ready to stop. … Don’t be the one to make that choice for him, don’t give him ultimatums, don’t tell him he has to do this. Allow him to say he’s done when he’s done so it can be an easy transition for him where there’s not any resentment there.”

Meanwhile, Carlyne is going through a career transition of her own. “A woman of many jobs,” as she says, Carlyne stopped working about seven years ago when she was pregnant with Emerson and has poured her time and energy into raising the children. Until November, when she passed the Pennsylvania state exam (on the first try) to begin practicing what she studied to do when she earned her dual master’s degree from Loyola University in social work and child and family law. She intends to focus her psychotherapy on maternal mental health and, for the last few months, has been working a few days a week at local hospitals, helping new mothers.

“I’m finding a sense to get back to what my purpose is,” she says. “I took such a long break, you know, to raise our kids, to make sure he was good. I figure, now it’s time for me to get back to me, you know? Now that he’s about to transition to something different — real life is what I say.”

Back to the present moment. Josh Sweat is identified as the injured Eagle and the stadium is quiet, worried. Neither the crowd nor Graham’s suite knows what the players on the field know, which is that Sweat has injured his neck but is talking and joking with his teammates. Told not to move by the medical personnel on the field, he’s lifted onto a stretcher then driven off very slowly by an ambulance. It’s a harrowing scene and a family member’s worst nightmare, one made frighteningly more real the following night when Bills safety Damar Hamlin suffered cardiac arrest on the field during “Monday Night Football.”

This feeling is what Carlyne will not miss. Every season, every play, she watches her husband get in a car crash.

“Any time we see someone on the field that goes down, the first thing I do is I look for No. 55,” she says. “And if I can’t find No. 55, then all hell breaks loose.

“It’s an anxiety that I can’t explain. It’s great, it’s entertaining for y’all, but it’s crazy for me to watch.”

At 1:39 p.m., on the second play of the second quarter, Graham does it. He bull rushes the left tackle, forcing Andy Dalton to step up into the pocket, where Dalton avoids Fletcher Cox’s outstretched arm, only for Graham to bring the quarterback down from behind. Sack No. 10, which cements the 2022 Eagles as the first team in league history with four different players reaching double digits.

GO DEEPER

Eagles Esoterica: Brandon Graham remembers his sacks

This particular crowd goes wild. Carlyne is up off her seat, waving her arms and pointing at someone in the suite next door. People are dancing side to side, screaming and shouting.

“That’s what I came here for!” someone says. “Watch, he gonna get another one.”

As the first half continues, the suite is getting antsy about the score. It’s 13-0 and the Eagles appear to be blowing a golden opportunity. Most everyone has an opinion about what backup quarterback Gardner Minshew should be doing better, save for the three girls, including Emerson, quietly drawing in their books on the floor in the back. At one point, Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni accepts a penalty that negates another Graham sack, but who’s counting?

In the second half, things start looking better. With Sweat out, Graham is playing more than usual and the defense is holding its own. Late in the third quarter, A.J. Brown scores a 78-yard touchdown to bring the Eagles within three, 13-10. Moments later, to close out the ensuing Saints possession, Graham gets sack No. 11, this one all him thanks to another powerful bull rush through the left tackle.

The suite goes wild again, except for Carlyne. Emerson and Bryson are draped across her, fast asleep, victims of their late bedtimes the night before on New Year’s Eve.

Alas, the Eagles’ rally is dashed when Minshew throws a pick six and there is no happy ending for the home team this time around. Everyone laments the performance and gets their stuff together, exchanging further pleasantries. Carlyne asks everyone to huddle together for a group picture, which she compiles for a scrapbook of each season. Then it’s time to follow her.

Brandon Graham’s wife, Carlyne (center), with family and friends. (Bo Wulf / The Athletic)

Emerson, wise beyond her years, offers some perspective.

“Sometimes it’s OK to lose,” she says. “There’s no reason to cry. It’s like losing an UNO game.”

The third-loudest group cheer of the day comes when all 23 people fit into the same elevator. Where there’s a will there’s a way, and the way here is led by Carlyne. She greets stadium staff like long-lost friends, picking up “2023” New Year’s glasses along the way. They tell her how much they love her husband, how moved they were by the video about his Walter Payton Man of the Year nomination, and how they’d just love a picture with him one day.

Before entering the lounge where families and friends wait for players and coaches, Carlyne checks in with Kathy Mair, the team’s player resource coordinator and assistant director of player engagement. Last year, when Graham was injured in the second game of the season, Carlyne received a text within seconds from Mair, assuring an update as soon as possible. Graham called a few minutes later from the locker room and told his wife he already knew it was a torn Achilles. Tonight, Carlyne is asking Mair for an update on Sweat. The news is good, thank God.

After confirming with the woman at the entrance that yes, everyone is with her, Carlyne chats with another pair of stadium staffers who seem like old friends. “That’s what you get for 13 years,” she says. The rumor is next week’s game might be moved to a night game, which nobody wants (turns out later the Eagles will play at 4:25 p.m. — better than prime time but still too late for the kids).

As everyone waits for Graham, a string of players and coaches emerge through a pair of double doors. No sign yet of No. 55, so a separate staffer comes over with a first-time offer. Would Carlyne and the kids like to see the owner’s box, where a picture of Graham’s most famous moment as an Eagle is featured prominently on the wall? Why, yes, they would. A private elevator — plenty of room this time — brings them up, and the family spends a minute surveying the scene before taking a picture in front of a framed photo of Graham’s game-winning strip-sack of Tom Brady in Super Bowl LII.

“Daddy knocked it out of the quarterback’s hand,” Carlyne tells Bryson, “and that’s how we won the game.”

It’s the play that guaranteed the Grahams will forever be Philadelphia royalty. For a long time, they lived in Philadelphia only during the season and rushed home to Detroit whenever the season was over. Each of the last three times Graham’s contract was up, Carlyne thought they were bound elsewhere. So did Graham, who shook hands and said goodbye to each member of the assembled media at the conclusion of the 2018 season. It’s difficult now to imagine him playing for another team, which is a reminder of how much things have changed since he was considered a “bust” by some early in his tenure. In 2021, over a decade since the Eagles traded up to select him 13th overall, with the kids needing stability as school was set to start, the Grahams made the decision to live in Philadelphia full time. This is their real home now, and the truth is Graham will be able to do anything he wants here whenever his playing career comes to an end.

By the time Carlyne and company are escorted back downstairs, Graham has arrived. He’s mingling with the rest of the crew, catching up with Logan and other teammates who walk by. Canadian Football League wide receiver Rasheed Bailey, a Philadelphia native who had two brief stints with the Eagles, grabs Graham’s attention for a minute while showing off his two CFL championship rings. From here, it’ll be out onto the field with the whole suite gang, but only if Graham can get out. He’s stopped by a fan to take a photo, until one of the staffers from earlier urges them to move things along quickly and Graham is out the door. Relationships matter.

With Graham the pied piper, the tunnel to the field sounds like a cross-country road trip. Emerson and Bryson are vying for his attention, one shouting, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” on repeat while the other opts for a more desperate, “Daddy, come on!”

Graham is not the only Eagle hosting friends and family on the field. Landon Dickerson has a large contingent while Jason Kelce is catching up with former teammate Andrew Gardner and his son. Carlyne teases Logan that this used to be “where he was employed,” as the former defensive tackle can’t stop talking about how big Emerson has gotten. One extended family member gives himself a mock introduction at the tunnel — “And now, from The D …” — and Graham laughs about how tired he was during the game while having to play more snaps than he had all season.

Everyone’s having a good time.

Whenever Graham’s career comes to an end, this is what Carlyne will miss — not having to play host eight or nine times a year, necessarily. The feeling of being part of something.

“Him being able to have the fun with his teammates, the love of it, and him being a part of it and me being a part of it because I’m a part of it with him,” she says, pausing. “It’s just a feeling that I can’t explain that he has when he’s involved in this. … I think that’s what I’m gonna miss the most because I feel like we’ve built a family here.”

(Top illustration: John Bradford / The Athletic; Photo: Robert Beck / Getty Images)

ncG1vNJzZmismJqutbTLnquim16YvK57k2lscmtgbHxzfJFsZmlpX2WDcLHAoKOeq12Xv6K6w6ilZp%2BilrWiuYywoJ%2BdXZius7jYp5xmn5Gism6wwLJm

DazeBlog

Game day with Brandon Grahams wife, Carlyne: Its an anxiety that I cant explain